How Many Times Have You Died?

How many times have you died? Or been murdered? How often have you chosen – or been forced to – let go of your old ways, patterns, habits, thoughts, behaviors, job, career or lifestyle?  If you are like the other 18 members who attended my Cross Coaching™ event March 11, 2015 you have died many times and know you will have to die many times more.

Once again, the energy and space created at Cross Coaching™ produced a supportive atmosphere stirred by members’ willingness to gorge on the topic and greedily devour the verbiage shared. What ensued was revealing. This is no ordinary networking event! One member actually labeled this his “networking therapy”. Anna Maria made it clear that this was an event worth driving across town for. Monica said she wants to attend every one of them. Why? Because everyone leaves feeling they have been able to learn or express something of value and connect with others present in a manner that leaves more of an impression than most ‘networking’ meetings do.

So, fueled by this weeks topic, how high did the heat get in Cross Coaching’s creative crucible? Very high! Yes, all members have had to die to and kill off the old ways. Some against their will when their job and title was buried, or their company went out of business. Most, however, felt that irritating, gnawing, feeling that was prodding them to change. Most admitted they did not die easily or willingly. It’s not comfortable being uncomfortable! It’s not easy entering the unknown zone. Some members have worked for themselves for years; some are new to the entrepreneur  arena. All admit that at some point they had to give up the control and listen to the signs, heed the signals and trust the universe, divine power, life force or whatever religious label they chose to acknowledge the unseen energy that showed up when they dared to! As Floyd put it: It’s not the enemy; it’s the inner me that stops us from trusting our self, our instinct and intuition from doing what we know inside of us we should be doing.

Terence put it well when he shared that he had ‘died’ over a year ago when he got out of a job he hated and has been living ever since – doing a job he loves! He still has ‘micro-deaths’, as we all should, when changes happen. He handles them better now because of the ‘deaths’ he has already experienced and the confidence he has gained by emerging from each one of them reborn, reinvented and recharged.

Amanda hinted that she could no longer breathe or live doing what she had been doing and knew she had to search her very soul to discover ways to turn what mattered most to her into a business. She is now doing that! David knew his heart was no longer in what he was doing. He embraced his friends advice to ‘follow the cosmic breadcrumbs’ and now has a handyman business that he loves. He spent too much time propping up a business his heart was not into.

Greg reminded us that you don’t always have to die completely to the old ways. You should take the best skills and parts of your past into the future with you. To die to the you that has those skills is the risk. The skills still have value. Your old values don’t in a future that demands you express those parts of you and higher values previously unexpressed. Or risk never expressing them and realize, years later, that parts of you that should have been birthed – died with no chance of ever being born!

And, finally, my Cross Coaching™ events always provoke thought and stir change. Gabe admitted later that the mirror rarely reveals all that should be seen. I strongly promote the importance of listening at Cross Coaching™ and members supportively shared with Gabe how out of alignment he was with his message. How they could see what he was not seeing. No wonder his business is having challenges! He also realized that his current ways are due for a funeral! New ways, thoughts and practices are overdue. I’m helping him by offering a coaching session next week!

Yes, another great debate provoking thought, change and close, trust-based relationships founded on members’ willingness to reveal themselves in order to better themselves and everyone present. To mentor and be mentored. To dare to die to who they were in order to live and be who they can. I encourage you all to die – often! You will live a better life when you do.

Peter Gibson, Harry Norman Realtor, Speaker, Author, Founder of Cross Coaching™