I tip people toward their truth. The intensity of the group dynamic I orchestrate at Cross Coaching™ stirs members’ neural networks to conduct ‘committed conversations’ and mine and mind each other’s minds. The result? Some coach other members while other members are coached. What no longer serves is uncovered; truths are discovered. Lessons learned. Trust, respect and business is earned. Everyone wins.
No time was wasted at this event. I asked how the business or career path you created, or are creating, supports the you that you had in mind to create. The topic: How do you connect with your personal and business creative core? And how do you keep them both aligned?
Steven jumped in. He’s had many successes, yet he admitted hesitancy and fear were consistent factors. How did Steve master them so that his creative core could consistently emerge? He has a Ministry background, perhaps that’s what helped him connect so deeply with his core creative base. He always asked himself a question. “Does this meet my need to serve people, so that the business I create makes a difference?” Steve’s needs are served when his business success helps others succeed.
Emily, a guest member, and young entrepreneur, bravely shared that she too experiences hesitancy, but also the fear of failure. The stress of marketing her already established family Laundry business, make ends meet, find time to exercise and pursue her more creative website coding passion are weighing on her.
Teresa, a Leadership Coach, counseled that leaders tend to pressure themselves with high standards, drive and ambition. Discover balance and be committed to that as an alternative state of mind, while still keeping goals in mind.
I noted that even Emily’s language, now and throughout our focus today on coaching and guiding her, leveraged on ‘driver’ words such as “I pressure and force myself to…” Remember how critical it is to “listen intently” to what others say. Emily used these words without realizing it, yet they manage and squelch her creativity in the haste to create a “better family business!” It’s possible that very little is actually being ‘created’ since both Emily and the family business partners seem busy managing what they’ve got instead of creating a less stressed, healthier, more balanced, approach.
We can measure where we are and where we are going against where we have been, without as much intensity, by being more self-monitoring and self-forgiving. Do things over time – not in overtime!
Hypnotist and Tapping expert, Jean, suggested such intense drive to pressure oneself requires emotional clearing.
Banker, Jason, suggested that one way Emily can reduce her self-induced pressure is to live in day-tight compartments. Stress is thinking about what has to be done while you are busy doing what you are doing! Be present.
Mark, who has already experienced the business failure Emily fears, coached that worry is futile; focus is where the force is. He has a family to support too, yet the challenge of re-starting another insurance agency is his focus now.
LaShonda, who has an even larger family than Mark to support, recently started a coaching business. Like Steven, she is crystal clear about what she has created and how it aligns with who she is creating!
Ironically, LaShonda is another ‘casualty of corporate’ who felt no resonance with company policies or systems; yet was led to discover her own beliefs as a consequence. Knowing she wanted to teach her five children to follow their passion, not just the money, she started her own coaching business, The H Zone, to show others how to do that! She shared with members how critical it is to get out of your head – where worry, stress and fear live and hence creativity blocked, and take present-based actions instead. And congratulate yourself – don’t pressure yourself – along the way!
Guy wondered if Emily’s focus on creating a stronger family business, founded by her Dad, not her, was weakening the focus on what Emily truly wanted to create.
Emily agreed that may be the case, yet the love for family, the current commitment to taking that business to the next level of success and discovering how growing a business helps you grow in the process feeds her too.
Sam reminded us that sometimes it’s O.K. to put your dream on hold for a greater, current, good. Sam is under 30 and has deliberately chosen the employee model, loves it and thrives in it. He may shift one day to a different model, if that is what he wants then. He doesn’t want the challenge of working for himself right now, but has dreams he’s working toward. He feels aligned with his personal core and how those cores help him succeed in business.
Jerry spent 50 years working in sales for the same company. One of his core talents is acting; these talents were highlighted and applauded at High School. He put his dreams to pursue acting on hold, but that core creative ability got expressed many times when making sales presentations and served his core business intentions well. And, yes, he’s now taking acting classes!
We live in a goal-driven society and must remember to enjoy the journey. Peg, our resident Health Coach, asks clients to do one thing each day for them; to spend time outside, with a friend, with a book. Time away from the pressure people like Emily feel, puts time spent around it in perspective.
Larry feels pressured sometimes by his awareness of how off focus he may be from the business he’s co-owned for 35 years, but a focus on keeping his life in balance gets his business focus back and re-connects him to his creative core and the core of what created his initial business success. Follow all that if you can!
I think we could all create more if we commit to staying conscious of our ability to create more. Practice tapping into what your core has created, can and intends to create; don’t get distracted by the world outside your head!
Carl Rogers talks about ‘the fully functioning person’. A person who has transcended the red-pencil world of suffocating conformity and fault-finding; a person who trusts his own organism and depends on his own creative nature and strength. (Excerpted from Mystic Cool by Don Joseph Goewey)
Jason, my banker friend, wishes that some of the failed small business owners his bank loaned money to, had maintained the focus Larry mentioned! However, some ‘creatives’ simply are not good business owners. Worth noting!
Anna Maria suggested businesses fail because the core creative passion was not aligned with the core business idea. She asked that we all remember one simple truth: that life is short. She’s had too many close calls to not live her life for the precious gift it is. So, there’s no time to wait to create; to get to your core talents and the core manner in which you want to monetize them – if you possess a business mind and choose that route.
Emily isn’t wasting time; she quit a job to work in the family business. She enjoys it, but like Sam is young; she took pages of notes from this Cross Coaching™ session which she admitted in her Johns Creek Business Connect Meetup review later, she was immediately applying!
Emily, who bravely exposed her concerns then openly embraced every piece of the Cross Coaching™ puzzle we offered her, without knowing it, gracefully revealed today how perhaps her self-applied drive, pressure and force, may also be her strength.
I think she has to find a way to align these strengths in a more balanced way but they may have molded her core, creating her current state of understanding and truth, best expressed when she said: “I think its cool being an entrepreneur. I’m always learning; always growing”. It takes core strength like that to manage yourself and a business.
It’s a sincere pleasure to see how the ‘committed conversations’ at today’s Cross Coaching™ helped Emily discover a truth; to get to her personal and business creative core and be willing to pursue ways to align them. Now it’s your turn!
About Cross Coaching™ Cross Coaching™ was built upon the notion that you can develop your business by developing others. Not networking to promote self, but connecting to create and improve community.
The space I create at these events expects members to be willing to boldly enter unfamiliar territory and ‘rope-up’ (like a mountain climbing team) to learn from and teach each other. I expect ‘committed conversation’ that demands intense listening and raw, but respectful, response.
Before I drop the topic into the imaginary crucible in the midst of members, I preface each event with an excerpt from Matthew B. Crawford’s book: The World Beyond Your Head. Page 63 discusses the power and art of conversation. How it can get to the bottom of things. But, to be good at it you must love the truth more than you love your own current state of understanding. At Cross Coaching™ we dig deep, fast. Come join us! Seating limited to 20.
Go to www.Meetup.com and search for Johns Creek Business Connect event. Join and then RSVP. We meet 2nd and 4th Wednesdays of every month (except Nov/Dec when we meet only once) 11.30am to 1pm.
Peter Gibson, Harry Norman Realtor, Speaker, Author, Creator of Cross Coaching™